Dear hunger pains,
I now know what it feels like to be a hungry hungry hippo.
thanks a lot
love
kelli
Friday, September 10, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
the ice cream countess
Dear Coldstone Creamery's Coffee Flavored Ice Cream,
Being a Howard I have learned well from Grandpa that you never turn down ice cream. I remember as a child spending the night at grandma and grandpas house and being served a handful of spoons and a gallon of some ice cream treat. We eagerly watched my grandpa as he showed us the ways of devouring every last bit of ice cream until it was gone. Granted there was me, my sister, and at least 2 cousins, plus him to show that frozen milk and sugar who was boss. That ice cream never had a chance... The later development in life of this new lactose thing has not been convenient, however, don't you worry grandpa i have not turned down one bowl of ice cream that has been offered my way. I have held up my end of the bargain and I'm sure you would be proud.
As for Coldstone Creamery's best creation Coffee Flavored Ice Cream. You are the most delectable dessert that I have ever tasted. Yes you may have a bit of a fight with the enzymes in my stomach that do not agree with your dairy background, but as far as my taste buds are concerned you are the bees knees.
Then when you add a brownie mashed up with those little metal blades and mixed on that cold stone into a concoction that is the right ratio of ice cream to brownie and makes my taste buds do the happy dance.
Thank you Coldstone Creamery for allowing me a lactose intolerant person to enjoy such glorious creations as coffee and chocolate. You truly have made this tumbling tummy of a lacto lass work extra hard for the evening.
Yours truly,
Ice Cream Countess Kelli
Being a Howard I have learned well from Grandpa that you never turn down ice cream. I remember as a child spending the night at grandma and grandpas house and being served a handful of spoons and a gallon of some ice cream treat. We eagerly watched my grandpa as he showed us the ways of devouring every last bit of ice cream until it was gone. Granted there was me, my sister, and at least 2 cousins, plus him to show that frozen milk and sugar who was boss. That ice cream never had a chance... The later development in life of this new lactose thing has not been convenient, however, don't you worry grandpa i have not turned down one bowl of ice cream that has been offered my way. I have held up my end of the bargain and I'm sure you would be proud.
As for Coldstone Creamery's best creation Coffee Flavored Ice Cream. You are the most delectable dessert that I have ever tasted. Yes you may have a bit of a fight with the enzymes in my stomach that do not agree with your dairy background, but as far as my taste buds are concerned you are the bees knees.
Then when you add a brownie mashed up with those little metal blades and mixed on that cold stone into a concoction that is the right ratio of ice cream to brownie and makes my taste buds do the happy dance.
Thank you Coldstone Creamery for allowing me a lactose intolerant person to enjoy such glorious creations as coffee and chocolate. You truly have made this tumbling tummy of a lacto lass work extra hard for the evening.
Yours truly,
Ice Cream Countess Kelli
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
the name problem
dear friends, family, and coworkers.
my name is spelled with an i, as in ice cream, island, igloo, or iguana.
not an ie or a y or an ee or any of those other arrangements of ways to pronounce an EEEE sound.
I know a lot of the time i pretend that i don't care that you mispell my name, but i care. so please spell it correctly.
k thanks
Love Kelli (with and I)
my name is spelled with an i, as in ice cream, island, igloo, or iguana.
not an ie or a y or an ee or any of those other arrangements of ways to pronounce an EEEE sound.
I know a lot of the time i pretend that i don't care that you mispell my name, but i care. so please spell it correctly.
k thanks
Love Kelli (with and I)
Friday, June 25, 2010
eventful afternoon
today i made red velvet cupcakes.
i made a mess.
they were delicious.
today i went to a movie.
it was about dragons.
dragons are neat.
today i went to baja fresh.
i miss moes.
mmmmm queso.
i made a mess.
they were delicious.
today i went to a movie.
it was about dragons.
dragons are neat.
today i went to baja fresh.
i miss moes.
mmmmm queso.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
hankering pankering.
things i currently crave.
chocolate cake.
a diet coke slurpee.
a dance party.
an afternoon of reading.
a puppy.
a nicer fat cat.
a money tree.
a weekend reunion with everyone i miss.
a coffee IV.
and...
my own personal bowling shoes.
chocolate cake.
a diet coke slurpee.
a dance party.
an afternoon of reading.
a puppy.
a nicer fat cat.
a money tree.
a weekend reunion with everyone i miss.
a coffee IV.
and...
my own personal bowling shoes.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
thinking on your feet.
So i had these thoughts today...
why is it that every man i have found attractive in the past 6months if not longer is either married, gay, or emotional unstable? do we set the bar too high for the men in we encounter because of the books we read or the movies we see. or is it because of the men in our own lives that set the standerd for the men we want to keep around.
If i stop feeding Toby will he loose weight or will he find another form of food to nibble at and blow up even fatter?
Why do cats think drinking out of cups is the coolest thing since sliced bread? I mean you have a perfectly good bowl of water right next to your food, but noooooo.... my glass of water is exactly what you want. So you have to get your head stuck and somehow manage to get the water all over my belongings... cats are perplexing.
what do snacks do when the doors of the pantry close?
Do children do cute things for attention, or do we find them cute because they look like little versions of ourselves with speech impediments and short arms?
Do all people sometimes feel like a nut?
Are there any acceptable occasions to wear a wedding dress other than at a wedding?
why is vegas soooooo hot?
and finally...
if a dryer is just hot air then why does it cost so much at a laundromat?
why is it that every man i have found attractive in the past 6months if not longer is either married, gay, or emotional unstable? do we set the bar too high for the men in we encounter because of the books we read or the movies we see. or is it because of the men in our own lives that set the standerd for the men we want to keep around.
If i stop feeding Toby will he loose weight or will he find another form of food to nibble at and blow up even fatter?
Why do cats think drinking out of cups is the coolest thing since sliced bread? I mean you have a perfectly good bowl of water right next to your food, but noooooo.... my glass of water is exactly what you want. So you have to get your head stuck and somehow manage to get the water all over my belongings... cats are perplexing.
what do snacks do when the doors of the pantry close?
Do children do cute things for attention, or do we find them cute because they look like little versions of ourselves with speech impediments and short arms?
Do all people sometimes feel like a nut?
Are there any acceptable occasions to wear a wedding dress other than at a wedding?
why is vegas soooooo hot?
and finally...
if a dryer is just hot air then why does it cost so much at a laundromat?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
truths.
i don't like licorice.
i have a fat cat. he is a stress eater.
i have a degree that i paid a lot of money for and can't seem to find a job that i am qualified for.
i once cried because i'm not engaged. it's not that i want to be, but i'm sad it's not an option and with all the smut on tv about perfect wedding dresses and wedding cakes and wedding flowers and wedding vows and wedding guests. it gets a girl all flustered about her life going no where.
i like dinosaurs. i wish i had a pet rapture but a toy size. i mean if they can have toy sized dogs why not toy sized dinosaurs. i see big money in this industry.
i like gory movies.
i am fascinated by WW2 and hitler.
i love dark chocolate.
i have a slit addiction to diet coke.
i have a large addiction to iced coffee.
i have a hatred of yo-yo's. i think it is because i am secretly jealous of those that mastered the tricks, but they are not a fun toy.
i wish i could pull of maxi dresses.
i wish i was a hipster so i could make fun of normal people. but i can't even make it into the normal group.
i have a best friend who lives in the mountains in an attic. i sometimes wonder if she remembers me.
i like baking.
i like classic novels, but feel too pretentious when i read them that i never can finish them.
i wish i could wear my cowboy boots every day.
i feel prettiest in a dress with pockets.
i enjoy eating oranges. the peeling of the nasty rind off is just such an accomplished feeling and the reward of the juicy orange is well worth it.
i miss my college family.
i like cupcakes. even more than cake i think.
more truths to come soon.
i have a fat cat. he is a stress eater.
i have a degree that i paid a lot of money for and can't seem to find a job that i am qualified for.
i once cried because i'm not engaged. it's not that i want to be, but i'm sad it's not an option and with all the smut on tv about perfect wedding dresses and wedding cakes and wedding flowers and wedding vows and wedding guests. it gets a girl all flustered about her life going no where.
i like dinosaurs. i wish i had a pet rapture but a toy size. i mean if they can have toy sized dogs why not toy sized dinosaurs. i see big money in this industry.
i like gory movies.
i am fascinated by WW2 and hitler.
i love dark chocolate.
i have a slit addiction to diet coke.
i have a large addiction to iced coffee.
i have a hatred of yo-yo's. i think it is because i am secretly jealous of those that mastered the tricks, but they are not a fun toy.
i wish i could pull of maxi dresses.
i wish i was a hipster so i could make fun of normal people. but i can't even make it into the normal group.
i have a best friend who lives in the mountains in an attic. i sometimes wonder if she remembers me.
i like baking.
i like classic novels, but feel too pretentious when i read them that i never can finish them.
i wish i could wear my cowboy boots every day.
i feel prettiest in a dress with pockets.
i enjoy eating oranges. the peeling of the nasty rind off is just such an accomplished feeling and the reward of the juicy orange is well worth it.
i miss my college family.
i like cupcakes. even more than cake i think.
more truths to come soon.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
toby's still fat.
so... since my last post I have moved back to the city that never sleeps and is comprised of neon lights. this city is also referred to as Las Vegas.
I however... do sleep, and have no neon within at least 500ft of where i do my sleeping. which is in North Las Vegas.
Other than sleeping i am stage managing. quite regularly actually, but have no day time, real person job.
I do truly enjoy my laid back lifestyle of lounging around and reading whatever book i choose to pick up. however my reading material tends to be something more like this...
Other than that things here in the sexless neon city are quite calm. making contacts and hoping to some day soon bust out of my 10'x12' room at my parents house (good thing this house is quite extravagant).
Only downside to living with the rents is... they won't let me get a dog. they say it has something to do with the fact that i have two cats or something or something about our lack of a side gate. But we all know it would be because they would be heart broken when i move out and take my precious pooch with me.
I do enjoy being a stones through away from them though. whenever i miss my momo all i have to do is walk down the hall.
more to come, but for now off to make more cupcakes. (i think its my newest addiction).
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